09 November 2011

Common Sense Ain't Common ... HRJR's Review

I recently finished reading a book that I wish I could personally put in the hands of every teenager in the world in every language possible! The name of that book, "Common Sense Ain't Common: A Practical Guide to Getting the Most Out of Life," by Philly native Tazz Daddy.

In this book, Tazz uses an outstanding mixture of personal and professional experiences along with recent events and names everyone knows to drive home every possible way people could see where that thing called "Common Sense" applied, where it was ignored, and how to go about making it applicable in your life.

When I was just half-way through the first chapter, I couldn't help thinking "I need to put this book in my niece's hands!" My niece Bryanna is 13 years old and very intelligent for a young lady her age. When most girls would take advantage of an uncle who says, "I'm gonna spend some money on you" and take him to the mall, my niece has me take her to Barnes & Noble! As I kept reading, I couldn't stop thinking about how the lessons that Tazz was dropping could benefit her and a lot of kids like her ... and unlike her!

l to r: Tazz Daddy         H.S. Reed, Jr.
I read a lot of books. I would go so far to say that I've read more books in the last five years than I read throughout my entire scholastic career. It's rare that I actually know the author of one of the books I'm reading, let alone have him as a close friend. Friendship aside, I have to honestly say that this book is definitely a must-read.

Like my book, "FIND A WAY TO MAKE A WAY! You're Either Part of the Problem or You're Part of the Solution," Tazz's opus speaks to people of all ages. Like my book, for those who are the same age as he and I, it's a reminder and a "come to Jesus" type conversation. For the youth, it's a glimpse into the future and the book provides tools that if used immediately and consistantly will help the young reader avoid a great many of life's pitfalls. I honestly believe that Tazz's book would make the perfect precursor of preparation for my book. The two could easily go hand in hand!

On a scale of 1 to 5 stars, I give "Common Sense Ain't Common: A Practical Guide to Getting the Most Out of Life" ...




06 November 2011

How Do You Define Your Personal Brand?

When people hear the word "entrepreneur" their minds go off into God only knows how many different directions, and most of them will more than likely fall under the category of "not me." However, I want you to understand something.

Everyone is an entrepreneur. We all have a product to sell and a service to provide. You are your product, and whatever you do with your life is the service you provide. However, when you sell your product and provide your services to the benefit of others more so than yourself, you then become an employee. Now, there's nothing wrong with being an employee, there's a job and a place for everyone. Better stated, somebody has to do the work that not everyone wants to do. That's not to say that those who do the work that other people don't want to do are at the bottom. In fact, such people exist on every rung on the vocational ladder. There are people who are happy at the bottom, in the middle, at the top, and at every level in between. And then there are people who are unhappy where they are, but won't do anything to better their ssituation. These are the people who give stink to the words "employee" and "entrepreneur" alike. Where you fit in the vocational spectrum is based on how you feel about yourself and the work you do. How you do that work and the conduct you display go to define your brand.

"Branding"
in this sense is new to no one. It's just the modern day verbiage for developing and exhibiting your reputation. Simply put, your brand is your reputation and it extends far beyond your vocation. When you think of yourself as an entrepreneur, imagine yourself as a company. As was stated earlier, you are your product. How do you want people to see you? How do you want people to receive you? What qualities do you want people to be thinking of when they're thinking of you? All of these things make up the definition of your personal brand.

Establishing and maintaining a positive and productive brand is something that could very well take a lifetime; however, all it takes is one discretion ... all it takes is one second to decide to go left or right when you know you should be staying on the straight and narrow, and your brand could be irreparably damaged. When Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna, he damaged his brand. When Tiger Woods' infidelity became public knowledge, he damaged his brand. Even when Michael Jackson's inability to let go of his childhood to where he genuinely thought in his mind that it was fine for a man his age to share a bed with children who were not his own ... he damaged his brand.

The same way you think about your favorite snack, soda, restaurant ... even your favorite toilet paper ... you want people to think as favorably about you as you think of those things. And why do you think so favorably of those things? Because they make you feel good. Because they have proven themselves. If you want to have a brand that is desired and admired by others, then it's up to you.

It's up to you to present and carry yourself in a dignified manner. When you go to work; whatever it is you do, do your job and do it well. If you do just enough to get by, don't think that just because your superiors aren't saying anything to you that they aren't saying things about you. If you actually are an entrepreneur and you provide a product or service, then you must certainly be cognizant of how you present who you are and what you do.

You have to realize that in the minds of the people around you, perception is reality, but you are the only one responsible for creating and exhibiting the perception that makes up that reality. How you do this goes to define your personal brand.

05 November 2011



On behalf of my "partner in crime," Tazz, I want to take a minute and thank those of you who have planned to attend our booksigning/seminar on Saturday Dec. 10th. For those of you who might be able to make it; or have yet to RSVP, we certainly hope you can fit it into your schedule. For those of you who will not be attending ... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE MISSING, but don't worry ... We'll definitely be back.

Have you ever met someone and for whatever reason, just clicked right off the bat? A little under a year ago, I peeped some videos that Tazz had done and I saw an outspokeness that I too had, but (due to my job at the time) could not fully exercise. So I introduced myself to him and we just started building from there.

Inspired by concepts found in Napoleon Hill's book, "THINK & GROW RICH," six months ago, I created a small "Mastermind Alliance" group with several other speakers including Tazz. He and I both believe in making strong alliances with positive people who are on a mission and in doing so, being able to help one another better themselves and others.

When he told me about his book "Common Sense Ain't Common" I clicked with it right off the bat because I have always said, "If common sense were actually common, everyone would have it!" I knew I had to use my resources to provide him an outlet to help further share his work and his word.

I GUARANTEE YOU ... If/When you come to Hue-Man, you're going to see two speakers come at you with brand new speeches of motivation & encouragement never heard before .

You will NOT be disappointed ... That is ... unless you're not there!

WE hope to see you there!

19 October 2011

"ASK HRJR!" Topic: Bullying

 


I do what I do because I enjoy helping people. I have dedicated my life to facing the good, the bad, and the ugly; find a way to process and rationalize it, and then share those rationalizations with people hoping they can find some peace and or an easier way to go. I was asked the following by a young woman whose son is being bullied.

Hey I need advice ... I'm a single mom and my son's dad is a dead beat. My son is being bullied in school. The teacher knows and separated the kids, supposedly the other parent was notified. My son is in no way a fighter. He had an anxiety attack when I dropped him off at school, because of fear. I keep telling him he's gonna have to do what he needs to and stand up to this bully but he won't any suggestions?

Signed,
Bullied Boy's Mad Momma

Dear Bullied Boy's Mad Momma,

Your son has to learn both confidence and HOW to defend himself. Things like discipline, esteem and confidence must be taught and instilled before and so that they can be used and then converted into SELF-discipline, SELF-esteem & SELF-confidence.

My advice ... Find a REALLY good karate school. One that offers a good physical fitness and practical self-defense program. Considering your son's father is - shall we say ... "inactive," definitely look for a school with a lot of positive young male students older than him and male Senseis (teachers) who give kids quality attention.

I used to manage a karate school. I have seen kids like your son come in low in confidence and bullied in school. After the first couple of months, when they accustomed to the flow, they changed. They were more outgoing and confident. Most importantly, few of them ever had to actually defend themselves. Those that did were capable of doing so.

The next thing I would advise is that you attempt to speak with the other child's parents. However, I must warn you that this may prove to be very difficult. The school may be uncooperative in sharing the other kid's parents' contact information. When we were kids, there were times when parents would get involved and mediate the situation. Old school fathers would lace the boys up in boxing gloves and let them handle it. I remember being picked on and having my father show up at the playground and tell me to deal with the bully or deal with him. I held my own with the bully.

If you can communicate with the other parents then perhaps together you can work something out. Other than that, teach your child how to defend himself and surround him with people who are high in confidence. It will certainly rub off on him.




03 July 2011

"Plan A" ONLY? ... ARE YOU CRAZY?

A friend asked, "How much faith do you really have? Would you put all your eggs in one basket with faith? Yes, No, or maybe and Why?" My answer is below ...

Many people - most notably Steve Harvey - believe that if you have a "plan B" then you lack faith in your "plan A." I do not subscribe to this belief. If you KNOW you cannot fail then by all means, go all-in; however, in life it is rare when you're going into a major venture knowing you cannot or will not fail.

Faith is no excuse to ignore or neglect thinking practically. If you put all your eggs in one basket and that basket gets tipped over, what happens to your eggs? If you're playing blackjack in Vegas & you go all in asking for hits when the dealer is showing a King & then flips an Ace ... what happens to your money?

Even though I often use the acronym "Follow One Course Until Successful" for the word "FOCUS," this is NOT an absolute - nor is the acronym for "PUSH," "Pray Until Something Happens." No battle is won, nor any success achieved by blindly following JUST one course and or sitting on your butt praying and doing nothing else but.

Contingency plans exist to give us options. If you're putting yourself on a path to acheive more for yourself in life; it's bad enough you will have haters and all other kinds of obstacles placed in front of you, so why would you voluntarily eliminate options for yourself by having in faith in only one option?

No ... Have faith in achieving the goal overall and use however many options that present themselves or that you create to get there.

16 June 2011

IN A PERFECT WORLD

IN A PERFECT WORLD

In a perfect world, people would tell the truth and those to whom the truth was told would be able to handle it.

In a perfect world, you succeed when you work for what you want and you fail when you don't.

In a perfect world, you can fall out of love just as easily as you fell in love. It will hurt the other person, but he or she will simply accept that was not "THE" right person for him or her & move on with his or her life.

In a perfect world, you're allowed to change your mind. You can believe one thing today, learn something new that changes your view, and then act out on that new course without being called indecisive at best, or a liar at worst.

In a perfect world, everyone would get along, and even if there was someone with whom you couldn't get along, you'd agree to stay out of one another's way.

In a perfect world, a partnership is just that. everyone puts in his or her fair share and they are rewarded accordingly. If you each put in 50% of the work, you each get back 50% of the return.

In a perfect world, the government is simply a tool built by & used for the benefit of the society. Position would equal one's level of duty and responsibility, not power and prestige.

In a perfect world, you win because you earned the privilege, not simply because you participated. You go in, do you your best, and the results speak for themselves. As well prepared as you may be, your opponent may be better prepared. As hungry as you are, today your opponent might have been just that much hungrier. Consequently ...

In a perfect world, if you lose you don't blame anyone other than the face you see in the mirror. You take accountability for your flaws and strive to improve them next time.

In a perfect world, people don't crucify one another for their mistakes because everyone knows they are not perfect themselves. People don't laugh or ridicule you when you fall because they know that they have either fallen themselves or will someday fall themselves.

In a perfect world, people do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. They don't look for a reward because they know that the good they did will returned in due season.

In a perfect world, there would be no need for laws because everyone would know not to do anything that would be harmful to themselves or others.

These are just a few examples of what a perfect world would be for me. The problem I have is that when people say "In a perfect world," they say something they want but will not work to achieve. Therefore, not only does perfection become elusive, but improvement fails to even have a chance.

So when I look sad and feel out of place, you now know it's because I am not where I want to be, can't get there by myself, and I don't have enough people willing to help me get there. I don't have enough people willing to help me get there because it will take ALL of us to get there & just one unwilling person makes the task impossible.

13 June 2011

How Do I Help You Find Your Answers?!

As a Coach, I ask my clients those questions that make them see the answers in their head in such a way that they HAVE to pull them out and act on them. They realize "Hey - someone's REALLY watching and is going to hold em accountable," and they know they have to produce. It's not easy; but as I always say, "Success doesn't come easy - nor is it supposed to. It's going to be work and that work is going to be hard."

A lot of times people already know what's right for them. They know the path they should take or the decision they should make; however, for "whatever" reason they do what's wrong for them. They take the wrong path and make the wrong decision. WHY?

As Tony Robbins says, people are driven by two forces pain & pleasure. People will do whatever they can to increase pleasure and avoid pain. The problem with that is people fail to realize that to some degree, success lies on the other side of pain. You have to go through some things in order to get you some things. People make the wrong choices because at the time those choices are easier to follow than digging in and putting in the work.

Those wrong choices start out bringing a false sense of immediate pleasure, but it's false because the only pleasure there is, is from NOT doing the work. Eventually, there comes a price to be paid & when that time comes those who did not put in the work pay the price and THAT's when the REAL PAIN comes.

The end result - be it pain or pleasure is what lasts, not what you get in the beginning. If you start out just going for the pleasure the table can turn on you. If you jump into the mix fighting (what "fight" doesn't come with pain?) you run the chance of turning those tables too.

Get YOUR Autographed Copy TODAY!
I have people who hold me accountable to my goals. As a coach, I appreciate BOTH sides of that particular coin. My book, "FIND A WAY TO MAKE A WAY!" is ONLY the beginning. I wrote that book at the START of my journey. The lessons still hold true and - if nothing else - give people the courage to TAKE ACTION & start their own journeys.

What are you waiting for? See ... You need someone to hold you acocuntable (LOL). So if you "plan" on getting your copy ... TAKE ACTION, Click here: http://bit.ly/jtlXHI and either start or fortify YOUR journey!

Take care & have a blessed week!

Harold

02 June 2011

HRJR Comes BACK to Harlem (and I'm NOT alone!!)

Hey Friends ...

I can't tell you how excited I am about this upcoming signing as I return to the Hue-Man Bookstore! This will be my third appearance there and like the saying goes, "Three times is the charm!" With each appearance I have strived to make it better than the previous one and this one is no different!

I have a few speakers lined up who are making serious and positive differences in not only their own lives, but also with those around them in their communities as well.




Cathleen Williams (left) is one of the most inspiring women I know. She's like a big sister to me, and I am honored that she will be hosting this event!


Keishorne Scott  (below) is a young brother who started and runs TWO non-profit youth empowerment organizations.











Rossmery Gomez (right) is a sister who has such a refreshing and positive outlook on life that you cannot help but feel "OUTSTANDING" in her presence!










Tazz Daddy (below) ... Well Tazz is in a class of his own (LOL)! Mess around with him and before you know it, in between the laughs - you done learned something!














Me ... I'm bringing FIRE. I'm not just talking about my book "FIND A WAY TO MAKE A WAY!" I plan on sharing some ideas with you that I hope will encourage you to take control of your lives!

I hope to see you Saturday AT ONE O'CLOCK!!



Hue-Man Bookstore
2319 Frederick Douglas Blvd.
New York, NY. 10027

30 May 2011

HRJR is Asked "WHAT's IN YOUR HAND?"

This coming Friday - June 3rd 2011, I am going to be up EARLY in the morning in order to be on the "What's in Your Hand" radio show hosted by Ricky Young (WHCR 90.3 FM or http://www.whcr.org/)
As I prepare for my return to the Hue-Man Bookstore for another signing for my book "FIND A WAY TO MAKE A WAY!" I'm going to share with Ricky (and you WHEN you listen in) what's been going on in my life and on my journey, some of the ups and downs and definitely what's out there on the horizon! I'll be returning to Hue-Man the following day Saturday, June 4th from 1pm to 4pm!


Ricky Young Host of "What's In Your Hand"
WHCR 90.3 FM or http://www.whcr.org/



More about the show & Host:

“What's in Your Hand” is a motivational radio program focused on success and achievement with the goal of inspiring the listener's to their (TAGS ) talents, abilities, gifts, and skills.

Some of the past interview guests include: motivational legend Zig Ziglar, Michael Beckwith and Bob Proctor of the "Secret", Andrew Young former U.S. Ambassador and former Mayor of Atlanta, Darren Hardy publisher of Success Magazine, Motivational Speaker Les Brown and author of the book turned movie "The Pursuit of Happyness," Chris Gardner.

Ricky Young has hosted Motivational Seminars & Workshops with Dr. Deepak Chopra and also Herbert Harris author of 12 Universal Laws of Success. Ricky is a former Professional Boxer with 22 bouts and was Boxing Coach at Columbia University for 11 years.

Make sure you tune in ... Friday June 3rd 2011 - 6am! Chances are your favorite morning drive radio shows will be playing "the best of" and other pre-recorded repeats! Start your weekend getting some pure LIVE motivation and inspiration! 

25 May 2011

My Mastermind Group

As written by Stephanie Brail (http://www.feelgoodgirl.com/): "Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, first defined the mastermind as a 'coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.'

Hill’s concept of the 'Master Mind' was inspired by Andrew Carnegie, wealthy steel magnate.... According to Hill:

"Mr. Carnegie’s Master Mind group consisted of a staff of approximately fifty men, with whom he surrounded himself, for the DEFINITE PURPOSE of manufacturing and marketing steel. He attributed his entire fortune to the POWER he accumulated through this ‘Master Mind."

On June 4th, at the Hue-Man Bookstore in Harlem, I will introduce you to some of the members of my "Master Mind Group:"
Keishorne Scott
Youth Empowerment Speaker


Tazz Daddy
Speaker, Life Coach
(Phila, PA.) Power 99 Radio Personality


Rossmery Gomez
Transformational Leader and Life coach.



I'm doing more than selling a book ... I'm giving you prime examples of ordinary people who are fulfilling extraordinary dreams!

23 May 2011

Today's Thought ... 23 May 2011

"It really bothers me when people deal with their problems by saying 'I put it in God's hands.' It bothers me because most of the time what happens is many of those people do nothing themselves to correct their situations. God works THROUGH us not FOR us. God didn't create our problems, so why should God solve them? It's not a matter of faith, it's a matter of good sense. Handle your business." HSRjr.

19 May 2011

HRJR Speaks @ Aviation High School (LIC, NY)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT: Harold S. Reed, Jr.
E-MAIL: HRJREnterprises@comcast.net
(05/18/11) On a rainy Wednesday, several entrepreneurs from the tri-state area converged upon Aviation High School in Long Island City, NY. to speak to an assembly of students about the realities and benefits of entrepreneurship. The event, called "Small Business Camp for Teens," was organized by Vera Borukhov - at teacher and an entrepreneur herself as the owner of Veracity Learning, a tutorial service which provides tutors to go to children's homes to provide them with scholastic assistance.

Amongst the panel of speakers were: Biana Bakman - social media marketing consultant; Rossmery Gomez - inspirational speaker; Jim Hernandez - youth empowerment speaker; Dana Humphrey - public relations consultant; Audra Fordin - auto mechanic/owner of a Great Bear Auto franchise; Keishorne S. Scott - youth empowerment speaker and founder of two community-based non profit orgainzations; Natalie Sulimani - tradmark attorney; and closing out the panel and presentation, Harold S. Reed, Jr. - speaker, author and Certified Professional Life Coach.

 
"HRJR"
Your Motiv-ACTIONal Speaker

Reed spoke to the students about how he retired from his 11 year career in Law Enforcement to become a successful speaker, writer and life coach. The prevailing themes of his presentation were the differences between employees and entrepreneurs, the difference between earning money and "making" money, and the value of creating multiple streams of income.

Every speaker gave the students a variety of real-life examples of what it takes to become an entrepreneur. No speaker pulled any punches and answered every question the students had. The students were very attentive, constantly writing notes and taking videos with their cell phones and after the entire presentation the students were able to approach the speakers and ask even more questions.

VIDEO:


Aviation High School, has a history which parallels the industry it serves. The school has grown from 3 teachers, 1 clerk and 100 (part-time) students in 1925, to its present program of 150 teachers, administrative staff, and over 2000 students. With the constantly expanding aviation transport, manufacturing, engineering and management segments of the industry, it is the school's mission to provide our nation, with our share of qualified trained young professionals necessary to control the present and influence the future of the Aerospace industry. Upon graduation, the students receive licenses in these fields of aviation. The school also has a vibrant U.S. Air Force Jr. ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps) program, and many students enter military service after graduation.

*********************

To book Mr. Reed for speaking engagements contact the Great Black Speakers Bureau: http://bit.ly/mjBcqR, or to inquire about "HRJR Coaching Services" send an e-mail to: HRJREnterprises@comcast.net




19 April 2011

01 April 2011

Interested or Committed ... Which Are You?

Are you "interested" in living a better life or are you "committed" to it? You see, there IS a significant difference between the two. Things that tickle our fancy, or that we find interesting can easily be replaced by the very next thing that tickles our fancy.

However, when you are committed to something, you have put yourself on a course towards achieving it. It could be a better job, a better relationship, or an overall better life; if you are truly committed to succeeding in a given endeavor your chances are far more greater than if you just acknowledge an interest in it. Therefore, if you truly want to achieve your goals - whatever they may be, you must learn to convert your interest into commitment.

For example, if you walk onto the lot of a car dealership and look around, you're going to be approached by a salesman. You're going to tell him that you're "just looking," but he's going to dig in by asking you question after question about what you are LOOKING FOR.

Then he's going to go about showing you cars that satisfy what you said you were looking for. He's going to show you all the bells and whistles, and if you're on YOUR game, you will ask more specific questions about mileage, warrantees and such. He'll then let you test drive a car or two, and then invite you in to run some numbers.

A half-hour to an hour later (if your credit is not too jacked up), you're driving off that lot in a new car. The salesman turned your INTEREST into COMMITMENT.

Nothing worth having will ever come easy. To paraphrase Frederick Douglass, without struggle there is no progress. You must be honest with yourself with regards to what you want to do and achieve in life. Take stock of what it is you find "interesting." Once you've done that, prioritize those interests. Once you've listed those "interests," COMMIT YOURSELF to seeing them through.

In the process, you will learn what's really important to you. In the process, you will learn what you are REALLY committed to - and once you have learned what you are committed to, you will be on your path towards achieving the greatness that is destined to be yours.

24 March 2011

How to go from the Hood to HARVARD - YES ... HARVARD!!

The following can be found on the Harvard University website's Financial Aid Section (http://www.fao.fas.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do - just in case you don't believe me!):

Welcome to the Harvard College Financial Aid Office.We are eager to help you and your family understand our financial aid programs and to assist you in finding ways to meet your college costs. Given the unprecedented economic downturn of the past year and a half, we understand that the thought of financing four years of college weighs heavily on families. We remain deeply committed to making a Harvard education affordable for all admitted students and invite you to learn more about our financial aid program. All of our financial aid is awarded on the basis of demonstrated financial need—there are no academic, athletic or merit-based awards, and we meet the full need of every student, including international students, for all four years.

In December of 2007, President Drew Faust announced a sweeping overhaul of financial aid policies designed to make Harvard College more affordable for families across the income spectrum. Over the past decade we have increased our scholarship aid by 163%, and this year we are awarding a record-breaking $158 million in need-based scholarship assistance to almost 60% of our students.

Our new financial aid policy has dramatically reduced the amount families with incomes below $180,000 are expected to pay, and parents of families with incomes below $60,000 are not expected to contribute at all to college costs. We no longer consider home equity as a resource in our determination of a family contribution, and students are not expected to take out loans, which have been replaced by need-based Harvard scholarship. This new program has reduced the cost to middle income families by one-third to one-half, making the price of a Harvard education for students on financial aid comparable to the cost of in-state tuition and fees at the nation’s leading public universities. For a more detailed explanation of our program, please click here.

We look forward to working with you,

The Harvard Financial Aid Office

15 March 2011

Accept Responsibility

"Succeeding in life is 10% what happens to you & 90% what you do about what happens to you. People need to pay closer attention to what they say & do. When you say someone 'makes me mad,' then you are a slave to that person because you have given that person control over your emotions. The devil didn't make you do it. He made you think about it ... YOU MADE YOU DO IT!" ~ HSRjr.

This past weekend I had a long conversation with a young lady whom I've mentored since she was in high school who has been having the damndest time trying to improve her life. She knows that there's a better life out there away from her hometown and she is doing what she can to get out into it by enlisting in the Marines. Unfortunately, due to some administrative mix ups the process is taking longer than she expected.

Regretfully, her major problems exist in her home. Apparently, her mother and (biological) father only got along when they conceived her because her mother is constantly telling her that she hates him and that she looks like him and sees his face when she sees her. Wrong? Absolutely, but let's not get stuck on that point. Let's move forward.

This young lady already has most of her stuff in boxes. That's just how ready she is to move out. Not only does she have the above mentioned problem with her mother, her younger sister is always picking fights with her. When she goes back at her sister, the sister runs to the mother - or if the mother comes into the room, she automatically jumps to the younger sister's side. She has even called the police several times accusing the young lady of being the one responsible for causing a disturbance.

Being a veteran myself, I reminded her that when she gets to boot camp those drill instructors are going to get into her face and say all kinds of things (none of them nice), and there will be nothing she can do about it - so I suggested that she start using her family as "practice dummies." I explained to the young lady that she needs to master the art of silence and the skill of humility. The only time there can be a disturbance is if she takes the bait. Her mother and sister know which buttons to push to get the responses they want. I instructed her to pull the plug on those buttons and stop taking the bait.

You see, if the electric company cuts off your power, it doesn't matter how many times you flip the switches in your house, you're not going to get the results you desire. If you maintain a higher sense of self, and don't allow people to get a rise out of you, then you strip them of the power they're trying to get over you. When you throw your hook in the water, if no fish take the bait then you go home hungry. I stressed to this young lady that she needed to cut the power and swim past the bait.

People will try to get a rise out of you. Let them. That's on them. What you do about what they do is on you. "He dared me to" has never been a legal defense. Neither is "She told me to hit her." People have to learn how to walk away. People have to learn that not every comment deserves being responded to ... but that's hard. Yeah ... it's hard, but the consequences for not going that route are otfen harder.

Man-up and take responsibility for your actions.

13 March 2011

HRJR's "Blunt" Answer to a Question About a Crisis of Faith.

I'd like to share with you a question asked on a friend's Facebook page ... followed by my answer:


QUESTION:

My father is a Pastor. I'm 29, been in church everyday of my life. I've prayed with people and for people. Good people. Most of the prayers go unanswered. Why doesn't God answer their prayers? I'm currently preparing for the seminary. But I'm losing my faith. I can't tell my father this. Any suggestions on how to keep my faith
?

MY ANSWER:It would appear that the person upon whom this thread is originated is undergoing a crisis of faith. This person has a lack of faith because - despite his or her father being a Pastor - he or she lacks a true relationship with God him or herself. Quite frankly, his or father being a Pastor doesn't jack to do with anything. It only goes to lead you to think that this person should have a lock on the game because of who Dad is (Mistake #1).


The person says, "Most of the prayers go unanswered. Why doesn't God answer their prayers?" Well MAYBE because God is NOT an ATM you can just go to whenever you want something (Mistake #2).

Maybe it seems that God isn't paying any attention to the people asking FOR something from Him because He is more focused on bestowing blessings upon those who are grateful & appreciative for what they've already being given and he sees them worthy of receiving more.

In the book of Job, Job was stripped of everything that meant anything to him, yet he continued to give thanks and praise for whatever he had left. In the end he was not only blessed to receive back all that had been taken away, he received EVEN MORE!

Instead of begging and calling it "praying," how about showing some gratitude? Instead of getting on your knees and saying "Please God GIVE me strength," how about you get down there and say "Dear God, THANK YOU for making me strong enough to handle all that I have thus far."

I was just telling one of my Coaching clients to "thank" the man with whom she's ending her engagement.
She said, "THANK HIM?! What the hell for?"

I said, "For making YOU a better woman."

(Her): "HOW SO?!"

(Me): "How long were you with him?"

(Her): "Three years."

(Me): If the next man you get involved with down the line starts exhibiting similar tendencies as this man, will it take you 3 years to recognize the BS and do something about it?"

(Her): "Hell NO!"

(Me): "So as you leave, hold your head up and thank him."

Living with a sense of gratitude will always improve your attitude and your attitude will determine your altitude. If you can't or won't have such an attitude with the most supreme benefactor ever, why should your prayers be answered? Are any of us likely to grant the wishes of a person who only comes to us when they want something? Of course not!

So God being ... well ... GOD, why should God be any different?

12 March 2011

Do We Actually Have Free Will or Is It All a Set Up?"

I'd like to share with you a question asked on a friend's Facebook page ... followed by my answer:

QUESTION:
"We believe God is omnipotent, which means he is everywhere, everywhen and knows everything. Therefore, he knows all about each of our lives, ie when we will be born, when we will die and who our mates and children will be. That being said, do we actually have free will or is it all a set up?"



MY ANSWER:
Here's the deal (as I see it): Humans think of God on a human level. Newsflash: GOD ISN'T HUMAN ... GOD JUST "IS." Sure you can ask "What would Jeus do?" Jesus was a man. God incarnate, but still a man. I guess that's where that whole "In the world but not OF it" came from.

Personally, I don't think life is a matter of free will or pre-ordained destiny. I think its BOTH. God knows the answers because He (or she, or they) is God; however, WE don't know the answers. Remember ... God is omnipotent. There are countless outcomes for the things we do, don't do, think about doing ... I think you get the idea. God knows every one of those countless outcomes because only God can count that which is countless. After all God is ... well ... God.

Think of life as an improvisational movie. God is the writer & producer. As the "writer," He designed all that we are and all that is. As the "producer," he provided the "sets" (as Shakespeare wrote: "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players"). Some might want to assign Him the role of "director," but naahhh ...

The only time God says "ACTION" is when we are born & the only time He says "CUT!" is when we die. In fact, when that happens, I think he says "That's a WRAP!" Anyway ... everything in between "ACTION & CUT" is up to us.

Again ... remember, God is omnipotent. As such the script He has written has every conceivable action and outcome; however, when we are cast (born) we're not given a script. Now here is where it gets interesting ... We're all cast at different times, and so those who were here before us wrote down a lot of what they thought was going down at the time and then they passed it down. Every generation of "actors" has done this. Many even claim that what they've written is actually God's script. However, they're too many different texts with all kinds of varying inconsistencies.

In the end ... God is God. He's got this. Our job is to do what we do as best we can until our role gets cut. There it is ... Faith, Free will & Destiny ... all rolled into a neat little ball!

Have a nice day!

06 March 2011

HRJR Speaks #13: "ABUNDANCE"

How much in abundance does
the Universe have for each of us?
In this video, I tell you just how much!

Millionaire Brotherhood Success Seminar

There's a chinese proverb that says:
"When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear." On March 31st ... If YOU are ready,I know where some of those teachers are going to be! Keep in mind ...
Success comes only to those who are willing to learn how to succeed.


05 March 2011

7 Things That Can Suck You Into Busyness By Phillip LeBlanc

Phillip LeBlanc & his wife Falesha
Today’s society is littered with things for people to do and ways to remain connected. For most folks, gone are the days of an 8-5 workday with a quiet drive to and from work and an uninterrupted evening at home with the family. Most have replaced that quiet serenity with busy lives and even busier schedules.

The root of such busyness is meaningless action. We live in a world in which we are prodded and tempted to engage in things that are fun, cool, and entertaining (and not necessarily in alignment with what we should be doing). Here are 7 common things in today’s society that most people touch regularly and that can easily suck you into a state of busyness.

1. Online Video – The internet continues to evolve in ways that fulfill right-brain cravings of emotional appeal. For this reason, the rapid growth in popularity of online video should come as no surprise. However, for these same reasons it is easy to get sidetracked in a 60-minute video on a favorite subject or find yourself lost in the land of YouTube search.

2. Blogs / Forums – Reading other people’s blogs can be fun and even educational. Maintaining your position as the most active user in your favorite forum is exhilarating. However, what is your purpose through those actions? Blog and forum posting can be part of an effective marketing strategy. Unfortunately, most people are not using blogs and forums for marketing but instead getting sucked into the busyness abyss.

3. Chat / Instant Messengers – We are now more connected then ever through real-time collaboration and communication. As much as chat and instant messenger solutions can increase your productivity through real-time engagement it is easy for those communication channels to open the door for non-essential conversations.

4. Facebook – With over 500 million users who does not have an account nowadays? But just because everyone is doing it does not make it an ideal platform of choice for getting stuff done. Unless you are in the middle of a well-defined social media strategy for your business, consider keeping Facebook off-limits during the times that you really need to get things accomplished.

5. E-mail – This is another popular vessel in which to communicate with folks around the globe. However, the daily time spent in our email inboxes rivals the time that most of us will spend in one-on-one conversation with our significant other. Personally, I conducted a Return On Action (ROA) study a few years back to find that I was spending almost 2-1/2 hours per day in my email inbox.

6. Phone Apps – No. You are not going to sell me on the fact that playing Angry Birds on your phone is improving your hand eye coordination nor are you going to monetize your ability to get back at those pigs. Most folks have their phones with them at all times. This means that apps (both useful and meaningless ones) are with us at all times, too.

7. People – Even though our technology-embedded world reduces emphasis on one-to-one human communication, it is still a common occurrence to lose minutes (and even hours) per day with others in unimportant talk at the water cooler. Protect yourself. Beware of other people who have zero concern about infecting you with their busyness virus.

Each of these things position you upon the peak of the productivity mountain. On one side is meaningful action; the other side is a steep descent into busyness that destroys your ability to achieve your intended results. Your challenge is to walk the peek in a way that you do not fall off.

HRJR Speaks #12

You only get better when you grow and
accept that change is life's truest constant.

25 February 2011

"An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure!"

Most of the time people never take the consequences of their actions into consideration until they're dealing with the consequences of their actions.

Many bad situations are predictable & easily avoidable. Just think of the worst case scenario and then do everything you can to keep it from happening.

Better to be able to say "I'm glad I did" than to have to say "I wish I would have ..."

24 February 2011

Do Something ... THEN DO MORE!

You are respsonsible for where you are. If you're in an unfavorable situation, you CAN get out of it. You CAN change it. You CAN get out of the hood. You CAN get out of that dead-end job. However, there are 2 things you need to know. 1. It's NOT going to be easy. 2. It's going to take time. The sooner you start the sooner you achieve. If you do nothing, you'll get nothing - AND THAT's JUST WHAT YOU DESERVE.

People want to blame the government and their jobs, and their bosses, and the fact that they were born in the hood as reasons why they aren't where they want to be in life. These are garbage excuses. Yeah - I said it. There are no laws saying you can't become whoever or whatever you want to be (unless you're looking for employment in illegal enterprises), YOU chose your job. Yeah, they hired you, but you applied for that job.

Bosses ... Hey ... I know they're a pain in the ass. But your boss wasn't born your boss. He or she had to go through some crap to get to be a boss. If YOU want to be a boss, or have more than what you have today, you are going to have to do something about it. No one is going to do it for you. In short, if you want more than what you already have, you're going to have to do more than you've already done.

That's just how the game works. You don't have to like it, but if you want to change your situation for the better, you're damn sure going to have to play it.

22 January 2011

A Facebook Question ...


Yesterday I posed the following question
on my Facebook page:


I have a question (especially for those who love freely offering their opinions). Between now & 2021 do you think you can earn/make at least $1,000,000? If not, why not? Who's brave enough to answer THAT?

I received several responses mostly supporting, but a couple challenging the above question, but one response moved me such that I felt compelled to share both the response and my counter-repsonse with you. The responding party - who shall remain nameless - was inspired to dig deeper! Enjoy.

The Response:

"Will I even be here 2021? But since I've had to start over, I don't think I can. But I have always wanted to write a book because I have always loved to read. Also, start-up $$ is also a factor for those who have ideas, but don't have the capital to put up front ... just my opinion. Don't be too hard on me ... lol"

My Counter-Response:
 The only thing I'm going to be hard on you about is ... EVERYTHING!

Granted, the older we get the more aware we are about our own mortality; primarily because the longer we live the more people we see die, be they friends, loved ones or both. However, what's important is to focus more on YOU LIVING than to focus on those around you who have died. Regardless of how old or young they were or how they left, the fact of the matter is that YOU ARE STILL HERE! The Law of Attraction states that you will bring into your life that which you focus most on. So what do you think you're attracting if you ask/wonder "will I even be here in 10 years?" When you die it's GAME OVER, and there will be nothing you can do about it, but until then every day you draw breath is one day more you have to move one step closer to your goals and dreams.

As for having to start over, I'm sure that once or twice in your life you've enjoyed a piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken, right? Well did you know that Colonel Sanders was well in his 70's when he sold his "11 Herbs & Spices" recipe? Do you enjoy Samuel L. Jackson's movies? Well his acting career didn't take off until he was 43!

There was a time when Donald Trump was in debt to the tune of OVER $900 MILLION DOLLARS. He is now worth well over $50 BILLION dollars. Now I'm not saying you have to produce their level of results, but those are three prime examples of how age & adversity can either be walls you climb over or allow to stop you dead in your tracks.

As for start-up capital, STOP thinking in terms of waiting for someone to give you the money & focus more on creating, developing and or improving your product or service. People - black folk especially - are always looking for that fairy god-mother or genie in the lamp to just show up & say "here's all the money you need to get started!" Well dear heart, it just don't happen that way. You can't wait for an opportunity to come to your door to say, "Okay, NOW I'm ready!" You have to get your grind on first, and if you're grinding hard enough, people will take notice & you will find yourself attracting to you the very people who can take you to the next level. People are drawn to success & that's a boat on which everyone wants to get on board.

What does the flight attendant tell you on the plane before take-off? "If there's a drop in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the above compartment. If you have a child, PUT YOUR MASK ON FIRST!" Before you can help anyone else, YOU have to be straight first. Write your book, hone your speaking skills - do whatever it is you want to do & do it with passion.

Like 50 Cent's first album is titled, "Get Rich or Die Trying" ... If you spend the next 9 years grinding & then God forbid drop dead before the 10th year, you will be remembered for your hustle and all you did until you died. If you do NOTHING and live for TWENTY years, what are people going to say? They'll say, "She was here ... Now she's gone. I'll miss her," and go on with the rest of their lives.

It doesn't matter whether you believe you will succeed or fail. YOU will choose your path & either way ... You're going to be right.

Which outcome would YOU prefer? Either way, the onus is on you & YOU ALONE to make it happen.

Now, if you feel I've been too hard on you ... GOOD that was the desired effect. Sometimes what we need is a kick in the ass, but everyone always wants the pat on the ass.

20 January 2011

20 Jan. 11 ... Today's Thought.


BLACK PEOPLE: It is not elitist to achieve success. Having more is not elitist. Achieving more & then treating others as if they're unworthy to achieve the same is what's elitist. It's ludicrous to think that having a lot of money, a big home, a nice car, clothes & jewelry is "the white man's vision of success." Having more is always better than having little to nothing; ethnicity be damned.

GET SOME ... THEN GET MORE!


18 January 2011

18 Jan. 2011 ... Today's Thought.

"It's amazing when you can actually feel God's hand at work. When you're grounded in your faith, life is like learning how to ride a bike. God is holding the back of the seat just like my dad did. When I said "I got it!" He let go. That's when I fell & just like my dad did, God brushed me off & held back onto the seat. You can say "I got it" all you want & he'll always be there to pick you up & hold onto the seat!" ~ HSRjr.

Why Reinvent the Wheel? ... Success Can Be Duplicated.

"What is called 'talent' is simply a set of resources that have been combined, sequenced & practiced until they become an automatic skill. Each of us has the opportunity to develop our inner resources into talents to excel at what we love in the world." ~ Andreas & Faulkner



Have you ever noticed when someone new comes on the scene, they're always asked questions like "Who inspired you?" and "Who was it you saw that made you think 'I want to do that?'" For today's star athletes, it was the star athletes they watched when they were children. For musicians at the top of the charts today, it was those who were at the top of the charts when they were children (and some of those artists remain at the top of the charts today). Look at it like this ... might there have been a Shaquille O'Neal if he didn't have Julius "Dr. J" Irving to look up to? Might Michael Jackson have been the dancer and entertainer he was were there no James Brown?

Check this timeline out ... There would have never been groups like Boyz II Men, the Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees if it were not New Edition; and there would be no New Edition if it were not for groups like the Jackson 5 and the Temptations. There would never be a Justin Beiber if there was no Justin Timberlake; no Chris Brown or Ne-Yo were there no Usher. As a matter of fact, there would be no Justin Timberlake if there were no Usher, and I doubt any of them would be who they are if there was no Michael Jackson. Would Hip Hop stars & business moguls like Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter, Sean "Diddy" Combs, and Dana "Queen Latifah" Owens be where they are if there was no Russell Simmons? Would Hip Hop even be what it is were it not for Russell Simmons? Would Simmons have accomplished all he has in business had he not alligned himself with and followed the likes of Donald Trump and Warren Buffet?

In his book "The Success Principles," Jack Canfield says repeatedly that "success leaves clues." What this means is, you don't have to reinvent the wheel to get to where you want to go. Like the people mentioned above, you can look up to someone and learn from them. Between magazine interviews, autobiographies, "official" biographies, and even Facebook ... you can meet some of these people and not only learn how they became the successes they are, you can also learn about the mistakes they made along the way. It's like someone giving you a map to a treasure with all or most of the pitfalls and landmines marked out.

No one succeeds on his or her own. There's someone or something they look up to. No one just comes out of the womb making up their own thing. There are basics to be learned. As human beings, we learn on different levels and thus are capable of producing results anywhere from acceptable proficiency to sheer genius. The results are based on the level of application applied to learning how to produce those particular results. In other words, anyone is capable of duplicating another person's results but they have to be willing to duplicate the degree of work and effort applied to produce those results. Now there are two reasons why this is not an absolute lock towards to success:

1. People tend to want the extraordinary results they want, but they don't want to put forth the the extraordinary work required to pull off those results.

2. We all have different circumstances, so it's not like we're following the exact same path of the person we're looking up to.


Sadly, little to nothing can be done about "#1" ... that's an individual choice. As for "#2," what you must understand is that it's not about following the exact same path as the person you're looking up to. For example, I set a goal to buy a particular car. Getting this car required me to move my money in certain directions in order to make it happen. This doesn't mean I have to tell you exactly where and exactly how I moved my money. The lesson would be in saving, investing and shifting resources in a safe and responsible manner in order to produce the desired result.
 
Here's a secret to success: Whatever it is that you want to do, find someone who has done it or is doing it and doing it well. If you can actually "Find A Way" to meet him or her, go for it. If not, see if there is some literature out about how they got to where they are. If they are successful, this should not be too difficult a task. Study them. As best you can, do what they did - make the moves they made. If they stayed up late at night studying a particular subject, then you stay up late studying that subject. If they invested their money in certain areas, (first do your research and due-diligence) and invest your money in areas that could produce good returns for you (remember you're not on an "exact" path).

Look ... If you want to play ball as well as LeBron James, remember he modeled Michael Jordan, so you'll have to work & practice as hard as they did. Something my mother always said was, "You play like you practice," so if you want to play like an all-star you have to practice like one. You don't have to reinvent the wheel ... Find a wheel and roll with it! I believe in something I first heard said by Les Brown (paraphrased), "I don't want to follow the path. I wish to go where there is no path and leave behind me a trail." I truly believe this; however, I also believe in working smarter not harder, so I realize (as should you) that before you can go where there is no path and leave behind you a trail, you have to learn something about where it is you're trying to go. You cannot go into the unknown totally ignorant. Would you go deep sea diving in the ocean if you don't even know how to swim with a snorkel? Would you jump off of a 20ft. diving board if you don't even know how to swim? However, if after first learning the basics of swimming, you stepped your game up and learned how the best deep sea or high divers did their thing, in time, you could become as good as them and then add your own spice to it and become even better.

Success can be duplicated!
Get to work!