11 November 2008

The Party is Over ... Now the Work Begins - FOR EVERYONE!

Ordinarily, I make every effort to avoid political discussions on THIS blog; however, given the magnitude of this recent change in our country's leadership, I would be remiss if I did not share some thoughts on it.

In a few words, I too am incredibly overjoyed to be able to be living in these great times; however, every party must, at some time, come to an end and we must all return to work.

I believe it is most important that everyone - especially African Americans - realize that although we, as a people, may share in President-Elect Obama's victory - that victory is NOT a "golden pass."

There is STILL work for US to do to better ourselves.

Consider this: Jackie Robinson was the first black to play Major League baseball. That alone did not open the doors for everyone else. What DID become open was the OPPORTUNITY. Brothers still had to step their game up to get themselves into the Majors.

Granted, we can now BELIEVABLY tell our children they CAN grow up to become president - but we should also finish that off with showing all the work that President-Elect Obama had to do to prepare himself for this opportunity.

01 November 2008

New Relationship - Old Friendships?

Normally, I stay away from publishing relationship advice as I am by no means perfect in my own; however, a friend asked my advice concerning a new relationship she was getting into.

Below is her question and the answer I gave. I thought I'd share it because I'm sure many people are going through the very same thing.

"If you are starting a new relationship, should you end your frienships with the opposite sex? Why or why not?"

I do not believe in the practice of burning bridges; especially, when the people involved are people you have established good and strong friendships with. Granted, there is always something great about getting with someone new, but that person should be willing to embrace your world and welcome you into his. Anyone who wants you to turn away from the people you have known for years should make you question how good he actually is at building relationships himself.

It's one thing to be leary of old boyfriends ... EVERY MAN (even those who don't want to admit it) will ALWAYS be leary of the men who have come before him (and the same DOES apply to women). However, it is a truly confident man who knows that his woman is now WITH HIM (and the same DOES apply to women).

I once had a friend who - for all intents and purposes did just what you are asking about - she flat out ended our friendship to appease her (then) new man. She married him, and they are living happily ever after. However, after almost 15 years our paths crossed again and she apologized. I accepted her apology ... but we haven't spoken since - and that was nearly a year ago.

Excluding those people who are truly virginal going into relationships, we all have our past relationships. We have all done some kind of "dirt" in our lives. However, with every new relationship we are faced with an opportunity to reinvent ourselves. There are two things that we know for certain regarding old and new relationships ... we know (1) all about the people we were involved with; and, (2) all about WHO WE WERE when we were with them.

The advice I would give in THIS scenario ... Consider this:Any man (or woman) who wants you to give up your friends for him (or her) should be equally willing to do the same for you. If he (or she) is so willing, then you need to consider the fact that building a true friendship (what should be the basis of every romantic relationship), is something that holds very little meaning to such a person.