02 August 2012

Making Decisions, "Man`ing Up" & Making Moves

I'm not a fan of Country Western music, but there was one song I have always liked since I was little kid. It's called "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers. The chorus goes, "You've gotta know when to hold them ... know when to fold them ... know when to walk away ... know when to run. You never count your money when you're sitting at the table. There'll be plenty time for counting ... when the dealing's done."

I retired from my career in Law Enforcement in 2011 and I spent the last year, building my Life Coaching and speaking businesses (www.HRJREnterprises.com). In June, a friend offered me a position on her Admissions team for a post-secondary technical school she was hired to take over. I saw it as a way to further help people improve themselves. I even called it "Life Coaching 2.0" because not only would there be people I could help, but with the school I had a physical entity to plug the people into.

However, as I learned the job and did the job, I learned that it just was not a good fit for me, and today - August 1, 2012 - I made the decision to "walk away" from the job. It wasn't an easy decision and I left behind some great people, but at the end of the day, I had to make a move that was best for me, my family and my peace of mind.

How do you know if you're a slave to your job?
  • If you take your paycheck over your peace of mind, or ...
  • If you can't be who you are because you have to be what the job wants you to be ...
... You just might be a slave.

Far too often in our lives we find ourselves in uncomfortable positions that seem impossible to get out of. The reality is these situations are not impossible to remove ourselves from; they're simply very difficult to remove ourselves from. There are all kinds of consequences to take into consideration; but the fact of the matter is, there are always consequences. There are consequences for the things we do as well as for the things we don't do. At some point we have to make a choice ... and then act on it.

The main reason why so many people are unhappy is that they know what choice they have to make, but they allow their fear of facing those consequences; or worse, their fear of the unknown to keep them from taking the necessary action to achieve their desired results.

The bottom line is this ... Nothing in life worth having comes easy. If it did, we wouldn't appreciate it. People can find freedom in the work they do in life ... provided they find or create work worth living for as opposed to working just to make a living. Getting your freedom won't be easy, but "when the dealing's done" it will sure be worth everything you went through to get it ... THIS I KNOW.

24 June 2012

Just Can't Fall Asleep?

Sure you can ... You just won't.

It's a psychological thing. Like most people, you might be accustomed to going to bed only when you get sleepy or tired. This is the equivalent of driving your car day in & day out and not getting gas or changing the oil until those particular lights come on. Thinking about it THAT way, aren't you and your car headed for a hard time if your gas or oil lights come on?

Don't wait until you're drop-dead tired to go to sleep. You must discipline yourself to get in bed a certain time. Once there, just lay there, be still and breathe. Your body will do the rest. Being still will slow everything down and your body will begin its dormant process. 

After all, our bodies are machines and every machine functions a certain way. There are many different kinds of automobiles and televisions and phones that have different features and capabilities, but if you run them non-stop they will eventually burn out. If you run your body until near exhaustion every day, you're only putting off the eventual burnout that's coming. 

Be still and rest my friend.

10 May 2012

HRJR's Daily Diamond

This morning I prayed for a man I never saw. I never spoke to him. I could only hear his suffering, and ask God to ease it as best as His Will will allow. No matter how jacked I may think things are for me, I remain grateful because I know there's always someone out there who's catching it far worse.

09 May 2012

HRJR's Daily Diamond

"What's the difference between living an ordinary life and an extraordinary life? The word "extra." In other words "MORE ... ADDITIONAL." In order to have an EXTRAordinary life, you're going to have to do MORE than the ordinary; you're going to have to do something ADDITIONAL than what what you're ordinarily doing. In order to HAVE more, you're going to have to DO more." ~ HRJR

06 May 2012

9 Biggest Mistakes When Networking

George C. Fraser & HRJR
George C. Fraser created an organization called "FraserNet," and it is the largest African American business Networking organization in the country. He has also written books on networking.

If you're an African American whose business benefits from networking and you don't know who George C. Fraser is, you are doing your business a serious disservice. I have learned a great deal from this man and had the honor and pleasure of meeting him and seeing him live on several occasions (next goal: to share the stage with him).

Below is a list he has compiled called the "9 Biggest Mistakes When Networking." I know I was guilty of some of these things, but not no mo' (smile)! If you find yourself guilty of any of these ... the time to change is NOW.

9 Biggest Mistakes When Networking

1) What Can You Do For Me?
The main goal of all effective networking is discovering what you can do for someone else. Great networkers want to know what they can do for you, not what you can do for them. If you understand this, the rest is just mechanics.

2) You Don't "Get Out!"
Get out; networking is analog, contact sport. You don't do it alone from your office, phone or computer. Force yourself to go to tradeshows, conventions, and seminars. Get out there, meet people, and press the flesh.

3) You Won't "Shut Up!"
Ask good questions, and then shut up. The mark of a good conversationalist is not that you talk a lot; it's that you can get others to talk a lot. Ask questions like, "What do you do?", "Where are you from?", and "What brings you to this event?" Then listen. Ironically you'll be remembered as an interesting person.

4) You're Boring!
George C. Fraser, Founder of FraserNet
Unveil your passions. Talking only about business is boring. Your passions make you interesting. Good networkers unveil their passions after they get to know you. Great networkers lead with their passions. If you met me my passions are golf, reading, biographies, and jazz.

5) You're Uninformed!
Be informed. Read voraciously – not just business publications. You need a broad base of knowledge so that you will have access to a vast array or information during conversations. Even if you are a pathetic, passionless person, at least be a well-read one who can talk about a variety of topics beyond the weather and sports.

6) No Follow-up
Follow-up, follow-up, follow-up – please! In my career, I've given away thousands of business cards. If all those people called or e-mailed me, I'd never get anything done. The funny thing: Hardly anyone ever follows up. Great networkers follow up within 24 hours – a short e-mail will do. "Nice to meet you. I hope we can do something together." Thank you for recommending Confessions of an Economic Hit Man. I'm a member of Canterbury Golf Club; let's hit the ball together before the end of the season; on my dime."

7) No Business Cards
Please carry business cards, especially if you are in business or a professional. Make it easy for me to contact you. Don't give me your information on a piece of toilet paper. Make sure your card has a phone number, e-mail address and address. Please have it in 12 point type if you want old, famous, rich and powerful people to call or e-mail you.

8) Take First
Those that give first (give favors), win. One of my greatest pleasures in life is helping other people; I believe there's a big spiritual scoreboard in the sky. God is keeping track of the good that you do, and is particularly pleased when you give favors without expectation of return from the recipient. The scoreboard always pays back.

9) No Agenda
Have an agenda... in other words "Why are you there?" "What do you really need?" It's okay to ask for favors in return. Good networkers give favors and return favors. But great networkers ask for favors to be returned. But they never ask before they know the person and they never ask for something that the other person can't deliver. Finally, they never do for the other to keep them indebted to them. Life is give and take, so is effective networking.

04 May 2012

HRJR's Daily Diamond:

When you are walking in your purpose and you are both true to yourself and true to your game; God, the universe (or whatever you deem your higher power to be) will provide for your needs.

YOU will know how your bills are paid, but to those who do not share in your vision it will appear like you're not working as hard as they are, but having more fun and being rewarded more than they are. #

03 May 2012

Am I successful as a Motivational Speaker? OH HELL YEAH!!

About a week or so ago, a mother who was at a speech I made a couple years ago tracked me down and e-mailed me. She informed me that when her son was going through some rough times away at college, he had her overnight my book to him to help get him back on track. If that wasn't enough, he has a friend who wants to become a speaker. So ... that mother, her husband, son and friend took me out to dinner & I had a great conversation with them.

You know how people always say, "If I could just help ONE person ... If I could change the life of just ONE person for the better ...?" Well, two years ago I affected a young man so deeply that when the chips were down, he looked for ME & MY words to set him straight.

It's not about the money.
The money will come.
THAT is why I am successful!