The only thing I'm going to be hard on you about is ... EVERYTHING!
Granted, the older we get the more aware we are about our own mortality; primarily because the longer we live the more people we see die, be they friends, loved ones or both. However, what's important is to focus more on YOU LIVING than to focus on those around you who have died. Regardless of how old or young they were or how they left, the fact of the matter is that YOU ARE STILL HERE! The Law of Attraction states that you will bring into your life that which you focus most on. So what do you think you're attracting if you ask/wonder "will I even be here in 10 years?" When you die it's GAME OVER, and there will be nothing you can do about it, but until then every day you draw breath is one day more you have to move one step closer to your goals and dreams.
As for having to start over, I'm sure that once or twice in your life you've enjoyed a piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken, right? Well did you know that Colonel Sanders was well in his 70's when he sold his "11 Herbs & Spices" recipe? Do you enjoy Samuel L. Jackson's movies? Well his acting career didn't take off until he was 43!
There was a time when Donald Trump was in debt to the tune of OVER $900 MILLION DOLLARS. He is now worth well over $50 BILLION dollars. Now I'm not saying you have to produce their level of results, but those are three prime examples of how age & adversity can either be walls you climb over or allow to stop you dead in your tracks.
As for start-up capital, STOP thinking in terms of waiting for someone to give you the money & focus more on creating, developing and or improving your product or service. People - black folk especially - are always looking for that fairy god-mother or genie in the lamp to just show up & say "here's all the money you need to get started!" Well dear heart, it just don't happen that way. You can't wait for an opportunity to come to your door to say, "Okay, NOW I'm ready!" You have to get your grind on first, and if you're grinding hard enough, people will take notice & you will find yourself attracting to you the very people who can take you to the next level. People are drawn to success & that's a boat on which everyone wants to get on board.
Now, if you feel I've been too hard on you ... GOOD that was the desired effect. Sometimes what we need is a kick in the ass, but everyone always wants the pat on the ass.