24 November 2010

The Answer is "NO" ... ACCEPT IT.

This past Friday I had the pleasure of being the Master of Ceremonies for the 1st Annual NY State Regional Awards for International Men's Day. It was a great program - not because I was MC'ing it (though that played a big part {smile!}), but because the cause was genuine and necessary. We were celebrating men who were doing good things for the community all throughout New York. As I said, it was a great program. We had some really talented young singers for entertainment, and some well respected dignitaries address the audience.

However ... we (my co-host & the organizers) began to realize that the program was running long. When the time came to start presenting the awards, we decided that we would read off the names, allow the recipients to come up and receive their award, but NOT allow them to give acceptance speeches. A couple people were allowed to, but for the most part (as MASTER of Ceremonies), when most of the recipients asked if they could have a few words, I looked them square in the eye and politely said ... "No." On the drive home, my wife told me that there were a couple of recipients who had some "not so pleasant" words for and about me for not letting them speak.

My response ... "Oh well."

But the more I thought I about, the more I came to realize more clearly something that I've always known but never really verbalized ... until now. People are not used to hearing the word "No."

People think that just because they ask for something or want something, that alone is basis and merit enough to have it, and to be refused is like a personal blow. What's funny is I have a friend from grade school, Derrick B., who brings this so close to the forefront of my mind. You could ask Derrick for a piece of candy and if he didn't want to give it to you, he'd give you a face as solid as stone and say, "No," and you'd stand there looking (and feeling stupid). Whether you're 7 or 37 ... that feeling doesn't leave. However, people have to understand that you're not going to get everything you ask for. You're not going to get everything you want; at least, not just because you want it.

Now, I do believe in the concept of "Don't take 'No' for an answer," but this is not an absolute. At some point, everyone must take a "No" for an answer. Sometimes, you can dig in and put in the work to turn the tides, but other times you just have to accept that the road ended with that "No."

Speaking of which, look at it like this ... Say you're driving someplace you've been to dozens of times, however on this particular day, they're doing construction and the road you normally take is completely blocked. There's a work crew, all kinds of bulldozers and other machinery, and there's even a detail of police officers redirecting traffic. Speaking from personal experience, I can assure you that there are people who will still not accept that reality and ask if they can go through. When told "No," they might be mad, but they're still driving away and through the detour. They had no choice but to accept the "No."

Sometimes, a situation is what it is. I think people who call themselves "motivators" do a disservice when they tell people that they are unstoppable. Again, there are times and places for this mindset, but there are no absolutes. Sometimes you have to accept the reality of a situation for what it is and then "FIND A WAY" to achieve a more desireable outcome.

At the risk of sounding cliche' ...
Sometimes ... "NO MEANS NO."

23 November 2010

FREE COACHING!! ... Time's Almost Up!

Friday will be the last day to take advantage of HRJR Coaching Services' FREE month of coaching.

If you would like to take advantage of this opportunity & receive your initial consultation, send me an e-mail at HRJREnterprises@comcast.net.

If you think you can do it alone, more power to you - but the best of the best have coaches!

22 November 2010

2011 Chevrolet Camaro ... GOAL ACHIEVED!!

This is not me showing off.
This is me showing the value of goal setting.
I set the goal to get this car over a year ago.
I put it off for the birth of my 2nd son.
I put the goal off, but I didn't put the goal away.
Despite all life's obstacles ...