Can You Do Something for Me NOW that I Won't Do Until Later?

Yesterday I put up a poll for the men & today one for the women. The question was "Would you get involved with a person who states UP FRONT that he/she requires you to prove he/she can trust you BEFORE she commits to the relationship?"

The results from those polls are below:

(MEN) Yes: 12 No: 19
(WMN) Yes: 4 No: 4

The poll was based on a conversation wherein which the young lady stated she requires ONE THING of a potential suitor - That he prove to her that she can trust him BEFORE she gives of herself (commits) into the relationship. The question issued in the poll was worded by her.

What was NOT allowed in your decision making process was the fact that although she could ask this of a man, HE COULD NOT ASK THE SAME OF HER. Her logic is if he cannot fulfill that ONE request from her then he has every right to keep on moving. She believes this to be a fair request because she's stating what she wants "UP FRONT" as opposed to popping it on the guy later on down the line.

Here is MY logic: Just because you disclose an "unfair" deal at the start as opposed to it being a surprise in the future does not make it ANY LESS of an "unfair" deal. You cannot or rather SHOULD NOT go into a relationship giving ultimatums. You cannot or SHOULD NOT go into a relationship asking anything of the other person that you're not willing to give of yourself AT THE SAME TIME.

Personally speaking, my wife & I go back and forth on the meaning of "partnership" as it relates to the workings of a relationship - as I am sure many couples do during the course of their relationships - HOWEVER, we went into our relationship on equal terms. I never asked more from her than I was willing to give of myself & vice versa.

I do not believe it to be healthy to any relationship for someone to submit a request, requirement, or demand that he or she is not willing to accept themselves. When I asked her "What if he asked the SAME THING of you before you could ask it of him," her response was that she would not accept it and move along.

Now I am by no means a "perfect" husband, but that's because I am not a "perfect" man - or a perfect ANYTHING for that matter; however, I could never ask my wife for anything I'm not willing to give up myself, and I really have to question any person who would succumb to such a "request, requirement or demand." In fact when I added the "fineprint" of her NOT reciprocating what she was asking for into the discussion, she said I "skewed" any future results (that caveot was not disclosed to the women's poll).

Respectfully, my friend shall remain anonymous for as long as she chooses to, however, I am very much interested in opening this issue up for mutual dialogue between men & women. I believe there is a lot to be learned here.

My friends ... What say you?