Who Do You Choose? How How Do You Choose?

A young man on a chat forum I frequent posed the following question:

You meet someone who meets all your requirements for a mate except financially. Then you meet someone who only meets the financial requirement . They both ask you out. Which one do you go with?

Even though I tend to stay away from relationship advice (Lord knows I'm a handful) I felt moved to share my response with you my response to him.

My initial thought was to say date both, but after reading the other responses another question popped up in my head ... what are your other requirements & how important are they to you? What ranking do things like humor, fidelity, attractiveness ... even hygiene, have on your list of requirements - including your financial requirement?

What good is being with someone who can help you pay the bills, but turns your stomach everywhere else? What good is having a beautiful mate who helps in making you LOOK good, but does nothing to help you BE good?

People need to begin thinking and living for the future and must start attracting like minded people into their circle. Eddie Murphy once said, "there are no perfect people - you just have to find someone who's as F**k'd up as you are and make a go!" To some degree, this is brutally true.

However ... This is NOT an end-all/be-all strategy. Personally, in this context, I believe there are 3 types of relationships:

1. The relationship where you motivate your mate to improve him/herself.
2. The relationship where your mate motivates you to step your game up.
3. The relationship where you are both on a level playing field.

There is work involved in pulling someone up. There is work involved in taking the intiative to step your game up, and there is work involved in building together from the same starting point.

In the end ... how much work are you willing to put in for your overall well-being?