Something NEW! ... HRJR's Daily Diamond

How successful do you see yourself becoming? Most people tell you that success is not worth venturing after are unsuccessful themselves. Misery loves company, but so does prosperity & good times. The only difference is that more people are unsuccessful because it takes no effort at all. There's a reason why the "VIP" section is only a small section of the club.

I Really Need to Begin Counting the Epiphanies in My Life

HRJR & Jim Hernandez

It was Sunday night, about 11:45pm. I was in bed reading a book recommended to me by my trusted friend and colleague, Jim Hernandez. Now often I don't mind sharing what books I'm reading, but I gave Jim my word that I would not share the title of this book because when he shared it with me he told me it was in part very instrumental to his success as a speaker (hey ... "insider sharing" isn't illegal). Anyway, I copped the book earlier in the day and figured I'd crack it open before going to bed because one of the two times when the mind is most receptive to stimuli is before going to sleep (the other time is immediately upon waking up).

So, I wasn't even five pages into this book. In fact, I hadn't even hit Chapter One yet ... I was still in the introduction when I came across a quote that floored me! This one quote moved me so much that it was like the original speaker of the statement flipped a switch in my mind and got the wheels that were simmering down in preparation for sleep all fired up. It was all I could do to finish reading the introduction so I could get to my computer and write this article. What happened was I had an epiphany. An epiphany is a discovery that comes upon you as a total surprise, but is usually something that was in front of you all along ... you just happened to open your eyes - or rather - open your mind to what was obvious, and now it is obvious to you. Being that I am on a journey of personal development and honest self-discovery, Over the past several years, I have had many epiphanies, or as Oprah Winfrey calls them, "Ah-HA! moments." I was so moved by this one that I felt the urge to share it with you.


I now know why I make people uncomfortable. I now know why people perceive me as arrogant.

You see, I believe in the saying, "wherever you go, there you are;" so wherever I am, that's my environment for however long I'm there. In my former profession as a police officer, it was paramount to control my environment as much as possible - and there were ways to do this covertly as well as overtly. So there have been and are times that I may give off a certain vibe that will attract some, but may push away others. Those who are attracted prove themselves to be quality people. Those who are pushed away are people I never really needed anyway ... Yet I digress.

Steve Jobs

The source of this revelation became crystalized to me in the words of Steve Jobs ... "Some people are not used to an environment where excellence is expected." I have always said that I hold myself to a high standard, and I hold those with whom I associate to an equally high standard. I have changed the positions of many of the people in my life, adding some while purging myself of others. When I read that statement by the late Mr. Jobs, it was as if he was also telling me that there are more people who have to go. Either that or they will have to truly step their games up if they are to have a place in my environment, because in my environment, "excellence IS expected."

Now if you're reading this, you may or may not know where you stand in my life. Know this ... I may not be happy where I am, but I'm happier than I was before I got here, and when I get to where I'm going I'll be even more happier than I am today. When I'm joking, I'm joking - but when I'm serious, I'm serious. The only way I'll be able to someday play as hard as I want to will be because I worked harder than I wanted to. If you can't hang with that, you might as well cut yourself loose right now and save whatever kind of friendship we may have.

How Do You Define Your Personal Brand?

When people hear the word "entrepreneur" their minds go off into God only knows how many different directions, and most of them will more than likely fall under the category of "not me." However, I want you to understand something.

Everyone is an entrepreneur. We all have a product to sell and a service to provide. You are your product, and whatever you do with your life is the service you provide. However, when you sell your product and provide your services to the benefit of others more so than yourself, you then become an employee. Now, there's nothing wrong with being an employee, there's a job and a place for everyone. Better stated, somebody has to do the work that not everyone wants to do. That's not to say that those who do the work that other people don't want to do are at the bottom. In fact, such people exist on every rung on the vocational ladder. There are people who are happy at the bottom, in the middle, at the top, and at every level in between. And then there are people who are unhappy where they are, but won't do anything to better their situation. These are the people who give stink to the words "employee" and "entrepreneur" alike. Where you fit in the vocational spectrum is based on how you feel about yourself and the work you do. How you do that work and the conduct you display go to define your brand.

"Branding" in this sense is new to no one. It's just the modern day verbiage for developing and exhibiting your reputation. Simply put, your brand is your reputation and it extends far beyond your vocation. When you think of yourself as an entrepreneur, imagine yourself as a company. As was stated earlier, you are your product. How do you want people to see you? How do you want people to receive you? What qualities do you want people to be thinking of when they're thinking of you? All of these things make up the definition of your personal brand.

Establishing and maintaining a positive and productive brand is something that could very well take a lifetime; however, all it takes is one discretion ... all it takes is one second to decide to go left or right when you know you should be staying on the straight and narrow, and your brand could be irreparably damaged. When Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna, he damaged his brand. When Tiger Woods' infidelity became public knowledge, he damaged his brand. Even when Michael Jackson's inability to let go of his childhood to where he genuinely thought in his mind that it was fine for a man his age to share a bed with children who were not his own ... he damaged his brand.

The same way you think about your favorite snack, soda, and restaurant ... even your favorite toilet paper ... you want people to think as favorably about you as you think of those things. And why do you think so favorably of those things? Because they make you feel good. Because they have proven themselves. If you want to have a brand that is desired and admired by others, then it's up to you.

It's up to you to present and carry yourself in a dignified manner. When you go to work; whatever it is you do, do your job and do it well. If you do just enough to get by, don't think that just because your superiors aren't saying anything to you that they aren't saying things about you. If you actually are an entrepreneur and you provide a product or service, then you must certainly be cognizant of how you present who you are and what you do.

You have to realize that in the minds of the people around you, perception is reality, but you are the only one responsible for creating and exhibiting the perception that makes up that reality. How you do this goes to define your personal brand.

THE VALUE OF IGNORANCE

One thing that really amazes me is how people function on what they think they know more so than on what they actually know. A lot of times; dare I say more than 90% of the time we learn new words by hearing them around us. We'll hear a new word on television, on the radio, overhearing someone else's conversation; or in direct conversation, and we may not know the literal definition of the word, but we get a feel for the word based on the context of the conversation. If the word resonates with us, we will add it into our vocabulary and we will go on using it, and often without ever looking up the word. Now, a good portion of the time people get away with this, but then there are those occasional times when a person throws a word out there that they have absolutely no business using. This is a prime example of ignorance.

As a matter of fact, the word "ignorance" in and of itself is an even better example of what I am saying. One sure fire way to insult someone is to call him or her "ignorant." However, if the context in which the word is being used is factual; it's not an insult, it's a simple fact. Contrary to popular belief, "ignorance" does not mean an absence of intelligence. It means an absence of knowledge. The difference may be subtle, but then to better solidify the difference we'll have to examine the difference between intelligence and knowledge. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, intelligence means, "the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations; also, the skilled use of reason." The word knowledge means "the fact or condition of knowing something with familiarity gained through experience or association." Therefore to be ignorant simply means not knowing about something ... NOT not knowing anything.

The fact of the matter is that there are a great many things of which people are ignorant, but because they misunderstand the true meaning of the word, you will not likely come across someone who's readily willing to acknowledge their ignorance. However, this is yet another reason why so many people fail to reach new levels of success. If you do not admit or acknowledge that a problem exists, how can you go about solving or correcting it? 

Something I always say is that when people make mistakes and suffer self-caused setbacks, it's basically because either they made a mistake of ignorance or they made a mistake of arrogance. When you make a mistake of ignorance, you simply didn't know any better. However, a mistake of arrogance occurs when you actually do know better than to follow a particular course of action, but act anyway. This is the cause of most people's failures in life. Just ask any convict who has accepted accountability for his or her present condition behind bars.

There is a Chinese proverb that says, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." The value of ignorance is in seeing it for what it is ... a lack of knowledge. Once you find yourself lacking in knowledge, you can go about filling that void and improving your life.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging your ignorance. In fact, the acknowledgement of one's ignorance is the dawn of one's intelligence.

DON'T QUIT!

One reason why so many people fail to meet their goals is that they spend
 more time focusing on overcoming the obstacles than on achieving the goal.
This video goes to show that WHEN you succeed is none of your business.
If you have a goal, you don't stop until you have nothing left.  

The "1st Commandment" of Professional Speaking

Many people think about going into the speaking industry thinking they're going to just cake out and make mega-bucks. They think they'll be the next Les Brown or Tony Robbins because they have memorized a couple of positive affirmations. Sorry ... It just doesn't work that way. Like anything else worthwhile in life, you're going to have to start at the bottom and work your way up.

Having said that, allow me to introduce you to the "1st Commandment" of Professional Speaking ... "Thou must go from FREE to FEE!" Seriously, it was John C. Maxwell who said, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." The best way a total stranger can show you that they care about what you know is paying you their hard earned money for you to share what you know. However, the only way they're going to do that is if they know it's going to be worth it.

Starting out, you're going to need to build an audience and a following. If you have a great message to deliver, and people are getting it for free at churches, schools, and Toastmasters events (to name a few), they're going to talk about you and word will spread. Coincidentally, IF YOU SUCK they're going to talk about you and word will spread, so DON'T SUCK!

When you do get these "free" gigs, make sure you have some way of getting people's contact information. Have a sheet that people can put their names, phone numbers and e-mail addresses on. If you're on Facebook, create a fan-page and direct people to it. This way, when you have new gigs coming up you can spread the word and there is how you get your "following," because those who were really moved by your message will do just that, follow you. 

The first money I ever made as a speaker!
$150 cash for a 20 minute speech.

Now when do, or should you begin charging people? That's hard to say because that's a decision you will have to make for yourself. But when you feel the time is right, here are a few tips:

(1) ALWAYS make it known that you're a "professional" speaker (even when you're speaking for free). You never know when someone will see you, who will pay you straight from the gate. Always be ready to get paid! I got paid for my first speech, and specifically told the people I wasn't charging them! 

(2) People respect what they see. Carry yourself as a professional and people will treat you as a professional. Those who don't aren't worth doing business with anyway, so don't give them a second thought.

(3) Create a Speakers Agreement (contract) for yourself. It outlines what you require as well as what services you will provide.

(4) In that Agreement, add a "Confidentiality Clause" that prohibits both you and your client from divulging how much you're charging and they're paying for your services. What you charge and what you actually make may be different from one client to another and for any variety of reasons. You may negotiate a lower honorarium for a particular group that has a lower budget, but you still wish to speak for them, or you may donate a portion or all of your honorarium back to the organization. You want to protect yourself as much as possible and not create friction should people talk about you when "comparison shopping" for speakers. Everyone is looking for a break (or a "hook-up"), and when people feel they are catching one, they're not likely to share that information if doing so means they might not catch a similar break in the future.

There is nothing more gratifying than to receive a nice check for what seems to be a few minutes of speaking, but keep in mind that you're not just getting paid for the minutes you spend on stage behind the microphone. You're getting paid for the time you spend researching, writing and rehearsing your presentation. Look at it like this ... You may only see professional athletes during game time on the weekends, but during the week, they're training and practicing and spending countless hours watching videos of previous games and matches.

Professional speaking is an industry that requires you to pay some dues in order to rise up. You can make a good living for yourselves, but you've got to make your bones. You're going to have to hone your skills and be true to your craft. The time you invest in the beginning of your career as a professional speaker will pay off massive dividends down the line, but you're going to have to create a foundation for yourselves. The stronger and deeper your foundation, the higher you can go in your career.

Being a "Professional Motivator" is More than Just Being Happy

There are many people who call themselves "motivational speakers" but all they do is portray an "All is sunny in the world and will always be sunny if you just keep smiling and think happy thoughts" philosophy. I suppose that's good for whoever wants to buy it. I don't get down like that. I have a philosophy that I call "Embracing the Darkness."

The source of MY motivation comes from overcoming my struggles and obstacles. When the times are GREAT, I'm being rewarded. When the times are just smooth, then I know things are cool, and I'm kind of on cruise control. But when times are hard, that's when I know I'm being taught something. That's when I know my character is being structured. You can't have a testimony if you've never been tested and you can't possibly have a message if you haven't been through some mess. You can share a "Pollyanna" type message with children because you want to keep them excited about life, but adults have been through some "thangs." If you want to motivate them, you've got to give them something to relate to.  In fact, depending on the environment, there are a great many young people who have been through some "thangs."

John C. Maxwell says, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care," and Jim Rohn taught that you have to meet people in their struggle. He said, "Here's the clue to really affecting people ... Start with where they are before you try to take them where you want them to go."

Be wary of people who call themselves "Motivational Speakers," but have no struggles to share. Be wary of the speaker who gives you nothing but happy shiny smiles. Genesis 1:3 says "(out of eternal darkness,) God said, "Let there be light, and there was light." There is no triumph without trouble.

If you've got a speaker standing before you, and all he or she has for you is a variety of ways to say "YOU CAN DO IT!" (sounding like the Cajun guy in the movie "The Waterboy"), you just might want to reconsider staying there. The fact of the matter is you CAN do it, but in order to do it, you're going to have to GO THROUGH IT.

There's just no way around it.