Ain't No Promotion Like SELF-Promotion!

Don't Lose Yourself in a Job That Won't See Losing You as a Loss

The most winning college football coach ever, former Penn State football coach, Joe Paterno has passed away. It is reported that he succumbed to lung cancer. While that may very well be the physical cause of his death, I suspect that it was his scandalous and shameful termination from his job that accelerated the cancer.

One's emotional state of mind has a great deal to do with one's health and physical well-being; and I think it goes without saying, to have a career as prolific and extensive as Paterno's - for it to end the way it did, could weigh very heavily on the mind soul and spirit. Joe Paterno was known to have once said something along the lines of without football in his life, his life would be over. As things have unfolded he spoke his reality into existence.

On one of the interludes of her album "Velvet Rope," Janet Jackson says, "How empty of me to be so full of you." What happened to Paterno happens to so many people on a variety of levels every day. People lose themselves in all sorts of things that do not return equal or greater value. In the end, they find themselves in various states of hopelessness and depression. Look at the woman who puts her dreams on hold to support her husband and raise their children. Look at the man who falls in love with a woman, gets married and counts his own friends in that part of the vow that says "forsaking all others." These are people who after years have gone by, find themselves resenting the very people they invested so much of themselves into.

Careers that can be very consuming emotionally, can take a heavy toll on people. Police officers & firefighters, for example tend to die within 10 years after retiring from the job. Why is that? The human body & mind  endure and carry a great deal in those professions. Imagine the person as an empty container that over the course of 20-25+ years fills up with eating certain foods at certain times, ripping and running, and dealing with all kinds of different people and situations - good bad and ugly ... and then it stops. The person is no longer in control. There are no more bad guys to lock up, fires to put out, tickets to write, or ladders to climb. And because they did not have many if any other activities or interests outside of and away from the job, when the job is gone, as Paterno alluded, life is over. It's just a matter of waiting for the clock to stop ticking.

I retired from Law Enforcement last year; however, I'm not afraid of my clock stopping anytime soon. In fact - for ME - it's like MY clock just got extended! Why? Because, recognizing what was stated above, I began building something different and separate from the job over five years ago. I began speaking and writing as something I would do after 25 years on the job. I wasn't really expecting to retire from the job 15 years early, but even still ... Because I had built other interests and developed other friendships away from the job, I was able to cross-over into civilian life almost seamlessly. In fact, I have a fond appreciation for NOT having to fulfill the responsibilities of my former obligation!

Now, I'm not saying don't put your best efforts into your vocation. What I am saying is that one should not put all his or her emotional being into anything that is not repaying him or her in kind. There is a word for people who break their backs - be it physically or emotionally - yet get little to nothing in return ... And that word is "SLAVE." Don't be a slave to your occupation. Don't be a slave to your marriage or other relationships.

Whatever you invest yourself into will produce a return. Just as you must over see how the market handles any money you may have invested into it, you must pay close attention to what's going on in your life so that you can see if you're getting back all that you're putting in. The only time one's life should be over should not be based on whether or not there's a job left to do, but based on there not being any living left to do.

Welcome to 2012 ... M.C.E. ... Money Changes Everything

Happy New Year!

This is my primary motto for 2012. One thing that I have noticed over the past couple of years is that whenever  I have speak about or post anything about money and or becoming wealthy; without fail, someone would always post some kind of response about how "money can't buy happiness" & "money isn't everything." What's worse, they tend to fall back on the Bible as if that gives them justification for having an impoverished mentality. Well, I beg to differ. As Zig Zigler says, "Money isn't everything, but it's right up there with oxygen." Where is the "heavenly joy" in being broke as hell?


I really wish I could say that, for the life of me, I can't understand the mindset people have in that there is some kind of nobility in being broke, but the fact of the matter is I understand it all too well. You see, it takes a certain mindset and a certain level of discipline to attain wealth. Most people don't have what it takes to be wealthy, let alone strive to become wealthy. Personally, I have more respect for people who genuinely strive to become wealthy but don't quite make it than I do for those who do nothing but stay in their same old funky conditions.


I am not (yet) financially wealthy; however, my life has unfolded in such a way that I am quite better off than most people my age in similar circumstances. Things have and continue to unfold in my life because I strive to make moves and meet people who can help me better myself. There's a famous quote that's been said by so many people that I look up to that I can't rightfully nail down the original owner; however, the quote is "If you're the smartest person in your circle, then you need a new circle."

The reason why this quote is so powerful is because you can replace "smartest" with any other adjective and the statement won't lose it's power. In fact, it strengthens whatever adjective you use. Having said that, I firmly believe that if you're the richest person in your circle, then you need a new circle. By that I mean, the only way you can improve your situation is to surround yourself with people whose situations are better than yours. When you immerse yourself in environments that you wish to dwell in, over the course of time, you will learn things that - if you take heed and implement them, you will likely someday discover your rightful place in those environments.


If you want to have more in your life, you're going to have to do more in life, and while most people want more out of life, they're not willing to do more. So when people come along and get the things they want in life, the person on the sidelines finds themselves resenting such people. However, the uncomfortable reality is that these people resent themselves. When they see others succeed, they are reminded of their own lack of drive and instead of taking stock and accountability in themselves, they project that resentment; or "hate," outward towards the people who are succeeding.


Why do you think so many people have so many opinions about how much money entertainers and athletes make and what they do with their money? People pass judgment because they're using their imagination to spend the money entertainers and athletes make instead of using their imagination to make the money that entertainers and athletes spend. But what happens is, when reality and imagination meet, imagination comes up short and reality comes up empty.


But you know what? Money changes everything! Money makes it possible to have more things, do more things, and help people who genuinely need and deserve help. Has money, the little I've made and continue to make, changed me? Hell yeah! Money has changed where I live and where I have been able to provide a home for my family. Money has changed the car I drive, the clothes I wear and the kinds of food I eat. Money has allowed me to make charitable contributions. Money has allowed me to travel the country; and most importantly ... Money allows me to meet and learn from people who can teach me how to make more money so I can do all of the above even better and better.


In short ... MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING!

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"Many poor people believe they are better people because they are poor. Somehow they believe they're more pious or spiritual or good. Baloney! The only thing poor people are is poor.

What good do you do poor people by being one of them? Whom do you help by being broke? Aren't you just another mouth to feed? Wouldn't it be more effective for you to create wealth for yourself and then be able to really help others from a place of strength instead of weakness?"
                                                                                                                             T. Harv Eker

Common Sense Ain't Common ... HRJR's Review

I recently finished reading a book that I wish I could personally put in the hands of every teenager in the world in every language possible! The name of that book, "Common Sense Ain't Common: A Practical Guide to Getting the Most Out of Life," by Philly native Tazz Daddy.

In this book, Tazz uses an outstanding mixture of personal and professional experiences along with recent events and names everyone knows to drive home every possible way people could see where that thing called "Common Sense" applied, where it was ignored, and how to go about making it applicable in your life.

When I was just half-way through the first chapter, I couldn't help thinking "I need to put this book in my niece's hands!" My niece Bryanna is 13 years old and very intelligent for a young lady her age. When most girls would take advantage of an uncle who says, "I'm gonna spend some money on you" and take him to the mall, my niece has me take her to Barnes & Noble! As I kept reading, I couldn't stop thinking about how the lessons that Tazz was dropping could benefit her and a lot of kids like her ... and unlike her!

l to r: Tazz Daddy         H.S. Reed, Jr.

I read a lot of books. I would go so far to say that I've read more books in the last five years than I read throughout my entire scholastic career. It's rare that I actually know the author of one of the books I'm reading, let alone have him as a close friend. Friendship aside, I have to honestly say that this book is definitely a must-read.

Like my book, "FIND A WAY TO MAKE A WAY! You're Either Part of the Problem or You're Part of the Solution," Tazz's opus speaks to people of all ages. Like my book, for those who are the same age as he and I, it's a reminder and a "come to Jesus" type conversation. For the youth, it's a glimpse into the future and the book provides tools that if used immediately and consistantly will help the young reader avoid a great many of life's pitfalls. I honestly believe that Tazz's book would make the perfect precursor of preparation for my book. The two could easily go hand in hand!

On a scale of 1 to 5 stars, I give "Common Sense Ain't Common: A Practical Guide to Getting the Most Out of Life" ...

How Do You Define Your Personal Brand?

When people hear the word "entrepreneur" their minds go off into God only knows how many different directions, and most of them will more than likely fall under the category of "not me." However, I want you to understand something.

Everyone is an entrepreneur. We all have a product to sell and a service to provide. You are your product, and whatever you do with your life is the service you provide. However, when you sell your product and provide your services to the benefit of others more so than yourself, you then become an employee. Now, there's nothing wrong with being an employee, there's a job and a place for everyone. Better stated, somebody has to do the work that not everyone wants to do. That's not to say that those who do the work that other people don't want to do are at the bottom. In fact, such people exist on every rung on the vocational ladder. There are people who are happy at the bottom, in the middle, at the top, and at every level in between. And then there are people who are unhappy where they are, but won't do anything to better their ssituation. These are the people who give stink to the words "employee" and "entrepreneur" alike. Where you fit in the vocational spectrum is based on how you feel about yourself and the work you do. How you do that work and the conduct you display go to define your brand.

"Branding" in this sense is new to no one. It's just the modern day verbiage for developing and exhibiting your reputation. Simply put, your brand is your reputation and it extends far beyond your vocation. When you think of yourself as an entrepreneur, imagine yourself as a company. As was stated earlier, you are your product. How do you want people to see you? How do you want people to receive you? What qualities do you want people to be thinking of when they're thinking of you? All of these things make up the definition of your personal brand.

Establishing and maintaining a positive and productive brand is something that could very well take a lifetime; however, all it takes is one discretion ... all it takes is one second to decide to go left or right when you know you should be staying on the straight and narrow, and your brand could be irreparably damaged. When Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna, he damaged his brand. When Tiger Woods' infidelity became public knowledge, he damaged his brand. Even when Michael Jackson's inability to let go of his childhood to where he genuinely thought in his mind that it was fine for a man his age to share a bed with children who were not his own ... he damaged his brand.

The same way you think about your favorite snack, soda, restaurant ... even your favorite toilet paper ... you want people to think as favorably about you as you think of those things. And why do you think so favorably of those things? Because they make you feel good. Because they have proven themselves. If you want to have a brand that is desired and admired by others, then it's up to you.

It's up to you to present and carry yourself in a dignified manner. When you go to work; whatever it is you do, do your job and do it well. If you do just enough to get by, don't think that just because your superiors aren't saying anything to you that they aren't saying things about you. If you actually are an entrepreneur and you provide a product or service, then you must certainly be cognizant of how you present who you are and what you do.

You have to realize that in the minds of the people around you, perception is reality, but you are the only one responsible for creating and exhibiting the perception that makes up that reality. How you do this goes to define your personal brand.

On behalf of my "partner in crime," Tazz, I want to take a minute and thank those of you who have planned to attend our booksigning/seminar on Saturday Dec. 10th. For those of you who might be able to make it; or have yet to RSVP, we certainly hope you can fit it into your schedule. For those of you who will not be attending ... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE MISSING, but don't worry ... We'll definitely be back.

Have you ever met someone and for whatever reason, just clicked right off the bat? A little under a year ago, I peeped some videos that Tazz had done and I saw an outspokeness that I too had, but (due to my job at the time) could not fully exercise. So I introduced myself to him and we just started building from there.

Inspired by concepts found in Napoleon Hill's book, "THINK & GROW RICH," six months ago, I created a small "Mastermind Alliance" group with several other speakers including Tazz. He and I both believe in making strong alliances with positive people who are on a mission and in doing so, being able to help one another better themselves and others.

When he told me about his book "Common Sense Ain't Common" I clicked with it right off the bat because I have always said, "If common sense were actually common, everyone would have it!" I knew I had to use my resources to provide him an outlet to help further share his work and his word.

I GUARANTEE YOU ... If/When you come to Hue-Man, you're going to see two speakers come at you with brand new speeches of motivation & encouragement never heard before .

You will NOT be disappointed ... That is ... unless you're not there!

WE hope to see you there!

"ASK HRJR!" Topic: Bullying

 

I do what I do because I enjoy helping people. I have dedicated my life to facing the good, the bad, and the ugly; find a way to process and rationalize it, and then share those rationalizations with people hoping they can find some peace and or an easier way to go. I was asked the following by a young woman whose son is being bullied.

Hey I need advice ... I'm a single mom and my son's dad is a dead beat. My son is being bullied in school. The teacher knows and separated the kids, supposedly the other parent was notified. My son is in no way a fighter. He had an anxiety attack when I dropped him off at school, because of fear. I keep telling him he's gonna have to do what he needs to and stand up to this bully but he won't any suggestions?

Signed,
Bullied Boy's Mad Momma

Dear Bullied Boy's Mad Momma,

Your son has to learn both confidence and HOW to defend himself. Things like discipline, esteem and confidence must be taught and instilled before and so that they can be used and then converted into SELF-discipline, SELF-esteem & SELF-confidence.

My advice ... Find a REALLY good karate school. One that offers a good physical fitness and practical self-defense program. Considering your son's father is - shall we say ... "inactive," definitely look for a school with a lot of positive young male students older than him and male Senseis (teachers) who give kids quality attention.

I used to manage a karate school. I have seen kids like your son come in low in confidence and bullied in school. After the first couple of months, when they accustomed to the flow, they changed. They were more outgoing and confident. Most importantly, few of them ever had to actually defend themselves. Those that did were capable of doing so.

The next thing I would advise is that you attempt to speak with the other child's parents. However, I must warn you that this may prove to be very difficult. The school may be uncooperative in sharing the other kid's parents' contact information. When we were kids, there were times when parents would get involved and mediate the situation. Old school fathers would lace the boys up in boxing gloves and let them handle it. I remember being picked on and having my father show up at the playground and tell me to deal with the bully or deal with him. I held my own with the bully.

If you can communicate with the other parents then perhaps together you can work something out. Other than that, teach your child how to defend himself and surround him with people who are high in confidence. It will certainly rub off on him.