"ASK HRJR!" Topic: Bullying

 

I do what I do because I enjoy helping people. I have dedicated my life to facing the good, the bad, and the ugly; find a way to process and rationalize it, and then share those rationalizations with people hoping they can find some peace and or an easier way to go. I was asked the following by a young woman whose son is being bullied.

Hey I need advice ... I'm a single mom and my son's dad is a dead beat. My son is being bullied in school. The teacher knows and separated the kids, supposedly the other parent was notified. My son is in no way a fighter. He had an anxiety attack when I dropped him off at school, because of fear. I keep telling him he's gonna have to do what he needs to and stand up to this bully but he won't any suggestions?

Signed,
Bullied Boy's Mad Momma

Dear Bullied Boy's Mad Momma,

Your son has to learn both confidence and HOW to defend himself. Things like discipline, esteem and confidence must be taught and instilled before and so that they can be used and then converted into SELF-discipline, SELF-esteem & SELF-confidence.

My advice ... Find a REALLY good karate school. One that offers a good physical fitness and practical self-defense program. Considering your son's father is - shall we say ... "inactive," definitely look for a school with a lot of positive young male students older than him and male Senseis (teachers) who give kids quality attention.

I used to manage a karate school. I have seen kids like your son come in low in confidence and bullied in school. After the first couple of months, when they accustomed to the flow, they changed. They were more outgoing and confident. Most importantly, few of them ever had to actually defend themselves. Those that did were capable of doing so.

The next thing I would advise is that you attempt to speak with the other child's parents. However, I must warn you that this may prove to be very difficult. The school may be uncooperative in sharing the other kid's parents' contact information. When we were kids, there were times when parents would get involved and mediate the situation. Old school fathers would lace the boys up in boxing gloves and let them handle it. I remember being picked on and having my father show up at the playground and tell me to deal with the bully or deal with him. I held my own with the bully.

If you can communicate with the other parents then perhaps together you can work something out. Other than that, teach your child how to defend himself and surround him with people who are high in confidence. It will certainly rub off on him.





"Plan A" ONLY? ... ARE YOU CRAZY?

A friend asked, "How much faith do you really have? Would you put all your eggs in one basket with faith? Yes, No, or maybe and Why?" My answer is below ...

Many people - most notably Steve Harvey - believe that if you have a "plan B" then you lack faith in your "plan A." I do not subscribe to this belief. If you KNOW you cannot fail then by all means, go all-in; however, in life it is rare when you're going into a major venture knowing you cannot or will not fail.

Faith is no excuse to ignore or neglect thinking practically. If you put all your eggs in one basket and that basket gets tipped over, what happens to your eggs? If you're playing blackjack in Vegas & you go all in asking for hits when the dealer is showing a King & then flips an Ace ... what happens to your money?

Even though I often use the acronym "Follow One Course Until Successful" for the word "FOCUS," this is NOT an absolute - nor is the acronym for "PUSH," "Pray Until Something Happens." No battle is won, nor any success achieved by blindly following JUST one course and or sitting on your butt praying and doing nothing else but.

Contingency plans exist to give us options. If you're putting yourself on a path to acheive more for yourself in life; it's bad enough you will have haters and all other kinds of obstacles placed in front of you, so why would you voluntarily eliminate options for yourself by having in faith in only one option?

No ... Have faith in achieving the goal overall and use however many options that present themselves or that you create to get there.

IN A PERFECT WORLD

IN A PERFECT WORLD

In a perfect world, people would tell the truth and those to whom the truth was told would be able to handle it.

In a perfect world, you succeed when you work for what you want and you fail when you don't.

In a perfect world, you can fall out of love just as easily as you fell in love. It will hurt the other person, but he or she will simply accept that was not "THE" right person for him or her & move on with his or her life.

In a perfect world, you're allowed to change your mind. You can believe one thing today, learn something new that changes your view, and then act out on that new course without being called indecisive at best, or a liar at worst.

In a perfect world, everyone would get along, and even if there was someone with whom you couldn't get along, you'd agree to stay out of one another's way.

In a perfect world, a partnership is just that. everyone puts in his or her fair share and they are rewarded accordingly. If you each put in 50% of the work, you each get back 50% of the return.

In a perfect world, the government is simply a tool built by & used for the benefit of the society. Position would equal one's level of duty and responsibility, not power and prestige.

In a perfect world, you win because you earned the privilege, not simply because you participated. You go in, do you your best, and the results speak for themselves. As well prepared as you may be, your opponent may be better prepared. As hungry as you are, today your opponent might have been just that much hungrier. Consequently ...

In a perfect world, if you lose you don't blame anyone other than the face you see in the mirror. You take accountability for your flaws and strive to improve them next time.

In a perfect world, people don't crucify one another for their mistakes because everyone knows they are not perfect themselves. People don't laugh or ridicule you when you fall because they know that they have either fallen themselves or will someday fall themselves.

In a perfect world, people do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. They don't look for a reward because they know that the good they did will returned in due season.

In a perfect world, there would be no need for laws because everyone would know not to do anything that would be harmful to themselves or others.

These are just a few examples of what a perfect world would be for me. The problem I have is that when people say "In a perfect world," they say something they want but will not work to achieve. Therefore, not only does perfection become elusive, but improvement fails to even have a chance.

So when I look sad and feel out of place, you now know it's because I am not where I want to be, can't get there by myself, and I don't have enough people willing to help me get there. I don't have enough people willing to help me get there because it will take ALL of us to get there & just one unwilling person makes the task impossible.

How Do I Help You Find Your Answers?!

As a Coach, I ask my clients those questions that make them see the answers in their head in such a way that they HAVE to pull them out and act on them. They realize "Hey - someone's REALLY watching and is going to hold em accountable," and they know they have to produce. It's not easy; but as I always say, "Success doesn't come easy - nor is it supposed to. It's going to be work and that work is going to be hard."

A lot of times people already know what's right for them. They know the path they should take or the decision they should make; however, for "whatever" reason they do what's wrong for them. They take the wrong path and make the wrong decision. WHY?

As Tony Robbins says, people are driven by two forces pain & pleasure. People will do whatever they can to increase pleasure and avoid pain. The problem with that is people fail to realize that to some degree, success lies on the other side of pain. You have to go through some things in order to get you some things. People make the wrong choices because at the time those choices are easier to follow than digging in and putting in the work.

Those wrong choices start out bringing a false sense of immediate pleasure, but it's false because the only pleasure there is, is from NOT doing the work. Eventually, there comes a price to be paid & when that time comes those who did not put in the work pay the price and THAT's when the REAL PAIN comes.

The end result - be it pain or pleasure is what lasts, not what you get in the beginning. If you start out just going for the pleasure the table can turn on you. If you jump into the mix fighting (what "fight" doesn't come with pain?) you run the chance of turning those tables too.

Get YOUR Autographed Copy TODAY!

I have people who hold me accountable to my goals. As a coach, I appreciate BOTH sides of that particular coin. My book, "FIND A WAY TO MAKE A WAY!" is ONLY the beginning. I wrote that book at the START of my journey. The lessons still hold true and - if nothing else - give people the courage to TAKE ACTION & start their own journeys.

What are you waiting for? See ... You need someone to hold you acocuntable (LOL). So if you "plan" on getting your copy ... TAKE ACTION, Click here: http://bit.ly/jtlXHI and either start or fortify YOUR journey!

Take care & have a blessed week!

Harold

HRJR Comes BACK to Harlem (and I'm NOT alone!!)

Hey Friends ...

I can't tell you how excited I am about this upcoming signing as I return to the Hue-Man Bookstore! This will be my third appearance there and like the saying goes, "Three times is the charm!" With each appearance I have strived to make it better than the previous one and this one is no different!

I have a few speakers lined up who are making serious and positive differences in not only their own lives, but also with those around them in their communities as well.

Cathleen Williams (left) is one of the most inspiring women I know. She's like a big sister to me, and I am honored that she will be hosting this event!

Keishorne Scott  (below) is a young brother who started and runs TWO non-profit youth empowerment organizations.

Rossmery Gomez (right) is a sister who has such a refreshing and positive outlook on life that you cannot help but feel "OUTSTANDING" in her presence!

Tazz Daddy (below) ... Well Tazz is in a class of his own (LOL)! Mess around with him and before you know it, in between the laughs - you done learned something!

Me ... I'm bringing FIRE. I'm not just talking about my book "FIND A WAY TO MAKE A WAY!" I plan on sharing some ideas with you that I hope will encourage you to take control of your lives!

I hope to see you Saturday AT ONE O'CLOCK!!

Hue-Man Bookstore

2319 Frederick Douglas Blvd.

New York, NY. 10027

HRJR is Asked "WHAT's IN YOUR HAND?"

This coming Friday - June 3rd 2011, I am going to be up EARLY in the morning in order to be on the "What's in Your Hand" radio show hosted by Ricky Young (WHCR 90.3 FM or http://www.whcr.org/)
As I prepare for my return to the Hue-Man Bookstore for another signing for my book "FIND A WAY TO MAKE A WAY!" I'm going to share with Ricky (and you WHEN you listen in) what's been going on in my life and on my journey, some of the ups and downs and definitely what's out there on the horizon! I'll be returning to Hue-Man the following day Saturday, June 4th from 1pm to 4pm!



Ricky Young Host of "What's In Your Hand"
WHCR 90.3 FM or http://www.whcr.org/



More about the show & Host:
“What's in Your Hand” is a motivational radio program focused on success and achievement with the goal of inspiring the listener's to their (TAGS ) talents, abilities, gifts, and skills.

Some of the past interview guests include: motivational legend Zig Ziglar, Michael Beckwith and Bob Proctor of the "Secret", Andrew Young former U.S. Ambassador and former Mayor of Atlanta, Darren Hardy publisher of Success Magazine, Motivational Speaker Les Brown and author of the book turned movie "The Pursuit of Happyness," Chris Gardner.

Ricky Young has hosted Motivational Seminars & Workshops with Dr. Deepak Chopra and also Herbert Harris author of 12 Universal Laws of Success. Ricky is a former Professional Boxer with 22 bouts and was Boxing Coach at Columbia University for 11 years.

Make sure you tune in ... Friday June 3rd 2011 - 6am! Chances are your favorite morning drive radio shows will be playing "the best of" and other pre-recorded repeats! Start your weekend getting some pure LIVE motivation and inspiration! 

My Mastermind Group

As written by Stephanie Brail (http://www.feelgoodgirl.com/): "Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, first defined the mastermind as a 'coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.'

Hill’s concept of the 'Master Mind' was inspired by Andrew Carnegie, wealthy steel magnate.... According to Hill:

"Mr. Carnegie’s Master Mind group consisted of a staff of approximately fifty men, with whom he surrounded himself, for the DEFINITE PURPOSE of manufacturing and marketing steel. He attributed his entire fortune to the POWER he accumulated through this ‘Master Mind."

On June 4th, at the Hue-Man Bookstore in Harlem, I will introduce you to some of the members of my "Master Mind Group:"

Keishorne Scott
Youth Empowerment Speaker



Tazz Daddy
Speaker, Life Coach
(Phila, PA.) Power 99 Radio Personality




Rossmery Gomez
Transformational Leader and Life coach.



I'm doing more than selling a book ... I'm giving you prime examples of ordinary people who are fulfilling extraordinary dreams!